My / by Tiph Browne

My

I’m often “in”, and this might be because I don’t like confrontation, I don’t know how to respond to it.

-My, 24, They/them

I recently went upstate with some co-workers for this retreat at a YMCA camp. They made all the bathrooms gender neutral, but didn’t change them labels, it still said “women” and “men”. The men’s bathroom was right across the hall from my room, so I used it. All the time. I would lock everyone else out while I was taking a shower or would have my friend Georgie guard the door for me. This dude knocked on the door and wanted to use the bathroom and wanted to know why I was in the “men’s” room. After Georgie explained that it was a gender-neutral bathroom, he asked “where in the world does that exist?” We had a whole conversation about it later where he asked what queer meant. I explained that it is an umbrella term and I use it all the time. He really liked me and he doesn’t want to accept the fact that I’m queer at all.

I’m often “in”, and this might be because I don’t like confrontation, I don’t know how to respond to it. Mainly, if it’s folks that I don’t know, that I don’t care about, that I don’t need to know, it bothers me, but I have come to this point were I’m afraid what it would look like to try to correct somebody. I commend everyone who spends a good chunk of their day explaining to person after person why they are who they are, and why they identify the way they do.